Face to Face

oh just to be face to face with my Father.

that is my cores desire. there’s nothing i want more than for my heart and my soul to be tethered to His.

i feel this at its peak when i stay off my phone for a good 20-30 minutes. it’s an exercise i train my mind with by resting my eyes from the bright screen, giving my chest and heart permission to level down from the hustle from app to app, and clearing out the updates, highlight reels and distractions. that happened this morning, even for less than 20 minutes, and my heart quickly connected with the Fathers as i opened 1 John. because i wanted that clarity and connection time, it was easier to grasp because my mind was clear from all distractions!

i heard the Father say to me: “i just want my people to know what they’re made of and made for.”

i read the first 2 chapters of 1 John, and i am still in awe of how powerful and practical and empowering 1 John really is! i feel like this book doesn’t get enough credit as it should!

specifically 1 John 1:2 (i’m in love with the passion translation), it just gave me this awe of the Father and this peace settled into my heart. it says,

“this Life-Giver was made visible and we have seen him. we testify to this truth: the eternal Life-Giver lived face-to-face with the Father and has now dawned upon us.”

i immediately began to have this yearning for His face. this yearning of desiring more of Him. even right now, as i’m writing this blog, i feel this desire!

i believe that: when you’re confident there’s more of the Father, you believe there is always more of Him. and you’ll notice yourself coming back for more. let that sink in.

and the more you come back for more, the more in awe you are of the Father. and the more in awe you are of Him, the more lost you get in His glory! which is the best place to be. ❤️

“getting lost in His glory” may sound like a risk to you… and for me, it was. i remember in my first year of ministry school, it was a challenge to let things go that i had carried with me for years. it was really hard for me to trust people and to even trust that God would be “able” to “heal” me. i believed the lie that it was impossible for God to heal the kind of person i was. like i was the “odd one out”.

in order for breakthrough to take its place in my life, it required surrender. it required renouncing those lies. and it required a lot of obedience before i started walking in the full freedom, full confidence and full joy i have today. i enjoy the presence of God much more than i did when i was holding onto things i was soooo afraid to let go of: fear of man, body insecurity, doubt, etc….

so when i say, “i just want to see my Father face to face,” i understand now that my doubt, my insecurities, my fear of what others may be thinking of me, is not worth entertaining over my relationship and love i have for the God who specially designed me, claimed me, and died for me and for all my sins!

i’m not writing this to prove my freedom or to make myself look “more holy” than you. and i’m certainly not writing this by saying i’m all perfect now because i have my freedom. i’m not perfect, and i still struggle, have fears, and insecurities that come up (because SURPRISE! i’m still a human!). i’m wanting to prove to you that the FREEDOM you’ve been wanting for so long is possible for you to gain! only wanting to prove to you that you are just as worthy and valuable as that other person who gained their freedom before you! i pray that the breakthrough story in my life and the same awe and love i have for Jesus that you desire, would prove to you that God can do anything He wants and He doesn’t rely on people to make His healing “work”! He doesn’t work that way. He’s the only one who can do it!

so i invite you, to come back to His face today. even this weekend. when you have 10 minutes or even 5 minutes to spare, sit down, take a deep breath, and repeat this today:

“my Father, there’s nothing i want more than you. there’s nothing in this world that i want more than you. every lie i’ve believed about You, any belief system that’s held me back or confused me about the Father You actually are, any doubt or fear in my heart about my freedom, i hand over to you! i renounce the lie that i’m not worthy. i renounce the lie that the freedom and healing i want i won’t gain. i am worthy of your love. i am seen and valued by You, because You specially designed me, and are constantly chasing after my heart. for as Jesus has lived face to face with Father, so i welcome you face to face with mine! all what Jesus has experience with the Father, is accessible to me as well! i receive the healing you have for my heart. do whatever You want to do! take Your place! thank you Jesus for your grace, love and mercy. i love you!”

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